Lights! Camera! Dissatisfaction...

Lights! Camera! Dissatisfaction...

Alice Kumplunkem can't catch a break - all she wanted was to be a movie star, but life had other plans.


A story about Alice Kumplunkem. She's overweight, has a bad haircut, and a plus-sized chest. Still, she wants to be a movie star. Eventually she's willing to just settle for one spoken line in a movie. In her quest, and through her determination, things only go from bad to worse. Her agent sends her to New York, for a bit part on a soap opera. Though Alice blows it badly, a meltdown in the ladies loo leads to work as a head writer on a rival television soap...and then her troubles really begin...


Why couldn't this have been a film script I was asked to read!? In a straight read-through, I laughed aloud every few minutes. Though not all the book is set in the film business, the portions that are hit right on the mark. Ridiculous episodes, unusual characters and odd scenarios abound, but as one who has worked on film sets my entire adult life, I'm here to say that this IS the film biz and Lights! Camera! Dissatisfaction... captures it with two thumbs up! ~ Bruce Pittman, Worthwhile Movies Limited, Award-winning director of films such as Where the Spirit Lives and Kurt Vonnegut's Harrison Bergeron

Kim Cayer is a natural story-teller with a gift for satire and a beautifully-developed sense of humour that beams from every page. Lights! Camera! Dissatisfaction...follows the adventures and misadventures of Alice Kumplunkem, as she develops from wannabe actress to the beginnings of a new career out of the limelight. Cayer makes excellent use of the first person to keep the narrative both personal and lively. This wryly funny book, unabashedly Canadian, shines a glaring light on the behind-the-scenes workings of "show biz" in many of its tawdry forms, involving the underpaid extra, barely-paid stage actress, bunny-costumed performer in a children's play, embarrassed swimsuit model, and much more. The writing reveals deftly-drawn characters - from her sceptical mother, to uncaring directors and self-serving agents, right down to her mongrel cat "Lunchpail". The dialogue is pitch-perfect. The style is engaging and refreshingly unpretentious. The tale ends happily, of course - but we finish it hoping that Alice will have a whole book of future obstacles and successes to tell us about! ~ John Ambury, Writers and Editors Network

Lights, Camera, Dissatisfaction by Kim Cayer is a relentless rollercoaster of a read, where the first person narrative sucks us inexorably into the word of a brash, expletive-spewing, yet oddly endearing character, who - if we but dare to admit it - skates perilously close to our own reality in her daredevil reactions to what life throws at her. Cayer's prose is effortless. This is fiction with the believability of a biography. ~ Cheryl Antao-Xavier, In Our Own Words Inc., author and publisher

Kim Cayer
Kim Cayer Kim Cayer is a professional entertainer and writer living in the Toronto, Canada area. She writes everything from screenplays to poetry, bu...
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